Wednesday, July 21, 2004pissed
i'm angry. pissed. who wouldn't be? i've been accused of stealing. thefy. trickery. of which i did none. hello. two wallets and a phone(which was eventually returned though). look here la.
so lai peng read out the names of the famous four who would undergo scrutiny. me. person1. person2. person3. ahahah. me. indeed. so funny. what a joke don;t you think?
no joke. cos one of my classmates really think i did it. when she was. well.
talking about hide-and-seek with the thief. she kept glaring at me. i'm not blind. i know what that means. thankyouverymuch. i may be stupid to some extent. but i'mnot that stupid. okay. get over it. i didn't do it.
i wasn't compelled to say anything in my defence yesterday. what for? i mean. i'm innocent. i don't need multitudes of people believin me when i say i'm innocent. all i have to do is know the truth for myself. and i'm innocent. i've never touched lai peng's box. i don't even know how hidayah's and sheena's wallets look like.
i can swear on that. totally can swear on that. because i really didn't do it.
look. people. believe what you want. if taking my bag with me to english in the com lab and histroy in the avt makes me guilty. then so be it. you can accuse me for all you want. as long as i'm innocent. i'll be able to retain my sanity. hey you know. the third harry potter book. sirius black? yeh. why didn't he go mad in azkaban? because he was an innocent man. and i'm the same. so even if you all don't believe me. it doesn't matter. i'm innocent. and that's enough for me. thanks.
another thing. i'm appaled by the fact that i have
no friends in my class.
none whatsoever. isn't it amazing? what happened to raf? mag? weilin? people whom i've known for
four years? how about my own
section leader? when lai peng asked people to stand up for the suspects. persons1 2 and 3 had people vouching for their innocence. but what about me?? has
four years of knowing each other gone to waste? amounted to
nothing? now i know. thanks.
my friends. thank you for enlightening me to the fact that i have no one who trusts me in my own class. that i have no friends. that two years of tryin to live amicably with everyone has gone down the drain.
hey. i'm not mad at you. i'm just disappointed. very disappointed. well. it's just my bad luck. i suppose. i guess. but nevermind. i'm a fighter. survivor. i'm not brought down so easily.
do you know. i cried last night? cried myself to sleep. for the first time in a long time. i actually cried. before i would never let myself cry. no matter how upset i was. because i was strong. but this time. this has really hurt me. you have indirectly betrayed my trust in you. my friendship. because you proved all this to me. because you didn't stand up for me. because i have no friends. people whom i trusted.. have let me down. if you were in my position. i would fight to prove your innocence. i would. because we are
friends. but you didn't. didn't speak for me. and know what? if you don't want to. i won't force you. all my true friends. i now know. are in other classes. michelle. vera. huifang. xuemin. xinxian. chelsea. even though they don't know of me being accused. yet. not yet. and i don't want them to find out. because i don't what them involved. don't want them affected. worried for me. you see. this is what a friend does. care for her friends. when they need them most. okay. so yeah. and i cried. cried cried. cried until i fell asleep.
i'm gonna find ms ang during recess later. need someone to talk to.
* s w e e t heart`x @ [[6:55 AM]]