Thursday, November 25, 2004
i choose to cry

tears i never knew existed now make their presence known.

i've never cried for anyone, never. but now i'm crying for you. and for this ache in me that might never go away.

oh, i know i said it'll all be over. but somehow i can't keep that promise. because i can never look at you and not think of what might have been. because i'll never know, it hurts. because you were never there, it hurts. because you left a part of me feeling so, so empty, it hurts.

and now i cry for you. i cry for you, and for myself.

sometimes i feel so helpless. so useless. so foolish.

i don't know why i subject myself to all this. but these tears won't stop once they've started.

can't you see? i'm crying for you.

you don't know how much i miss you. how much i just need you to be there and tell me everything would be all right. how much i just need to see you smile at me, laugh with me. comfort me.

it has never occured to you that this is cutting me so deep, has it?

someone tell me why i put up with this.

the wound is so deep, it'll probably never heal.

i may look nonchalant, but inside is an open cut that bleeds freely. a masquerade i am finding hard to keep up.

sometimes, i can't even bring myself to even talk to you. i only gaze at you from afar. but i don't think you notice.

and what for?

i cry for you.

you don't see the tears. you don't see the pain. you don't see me.

i chose this path, and now i walk it. tears.. they are the only company i have left on this long and dusty path.

when will you come back?

i cry for you.

really i do.


* s w e e t heart`x @ [[7:31 PM]]